


Avengers vs Sharknado

by Gir_Hugs



Category: Sharknado (2013), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Crack, Freaking A.I.M., Gen, Humor, Ridiculous, Sharknado - Freeform, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-12
Updated: 2013-07-12
Packaged: 2017-12-19 06:04:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/880301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gir_Hugs/pseuds/Gir_Hugs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SHIELD's 'Sharknado' contingency plan is to let Agent Coulson neutralize it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Avengers vs Sharknado

**Author's Note:**

> Watched the movie and saw that Clark Gregg had tweeted about it. I couldn't _not_ write this. 
> 
> 'Tsunamwolf' is in reference to Danny Zuker's tweet.
> 
> It's utter ridiculousness.

“What the actual fuck?” Tony stares wide eyed at the coastline, not quite believing his eyes.  “That…that cannot be what I think it is.”

 

“I’d say you need to get your eyes checked, Tin Man, but I’m seeing the same thing and we all know I have perfect eyesight,” Hawkeye confirms over the comm..

 

“So that’s seriously…” Tony trails off, his brain not able to comprehend the sheer not-Science-ness about what his eyes are seeing.

 

“Yes, Iron Man,” the Director snaps, not liking what the video-feed back at HQ is showing them. “It’s a Sharknado.”

 

“…But that’s not possible!” Tony whines even as he flies around the large vortex, dodging sharks left and right.  "It was just a movie!  This can't be happening in real life!"

 

“Apparently, it is,” Clint retorts, shooting a shark out of the sky.

 

"Sharks can't survive outside of water for this long!"

 

"They're genetically modified sharks A.I.M's been working on," Hill informs them.  "So these sharks can survive on air."

 

"Freaking A.I.M.  ....Well, what’s the plan then?” Tony asks, watching as Thor flies around striking sharks with lightening bolts and laughing.

 

“Plan?” Steve squeaks, using his shield as an umbrella of sorts to avoid getting shark guts in his face.  “How do you expect me to have a plan about something like this?”

 

“I was asking the Director,” Tony grunts as a hammerhead shark latches onto his repulsor boot.  “He has a plan for _everything_.”

 

There’s silence over the comm. for a second and then the Director grumbles something lowly.

 

“What was that?  Speak up.”

 

“I said,” the Director bites out, “That our contingency plan for a Sharknado was Agent Coulson.”

 

“…Agent Coulson...and what?”

 

“Nothing, we were gonna drop Agent Coulson in and hope he scared it into nonexistence. ”

 

“As happy as I am to hear about your faith in my abilities, sir, I don’t think that would actually work,” Coulson says dryly. “Besides, I’d really prefer not letting my suit get destroyed by any sharks, thanks.”

 

“It was never supposed to be put into action,” the Director snaps.  "It was a _joke_."

 

“Well…Iron Man can always drop a bomb in the center,” Hawkeye offers up.  “You know, like in the movie.”

 

“It won’t work,” Bruce and Tony say in unison.

 

“No harm in trying,” Clint looses another arrow.

 

“…He’s got a point,” Steve backs the archer.

 

“Fine,” Tony says shortly, obviously not happy with the current state of events.  “But only to prove to you how _wrong_ the movie was.”

 

They all watch as Tony flies up to the tornado and then launches a small missile into its center.  There’s a five second wait before it detonates and then…the tornado dissipates.  Hundreds of sharks start falling from the sky.

 

“No,” Tony denies vehemently.  “No, that did _not_ just happen.”

 

“Oh, but it did,” Clint laughs, highly entertained by the fact that Tony had just been disproved.

 

The snarking and taunting continue over the comms as the team sets about cleaning sharks up off the streets of New York.

 

Back at SHIELD HQ…

 

“Hill,” Fury barks and waits until his second materializes at his side.  “Obviously those people who thought up ‘Sharknado’ were onto something.  Figure out who they are and get them on a consulting contract with SHIELD.  We may need their help in the future.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

 

One year later, Tsunamwolf hits.


End file.
